my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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