I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize