When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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