how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
