I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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