So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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