he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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