i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just gift wrapped bread.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
