he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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