wat bout pragnant strippers??
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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