oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
