How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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