That's intense
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
