One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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