i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
