ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
