Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
