Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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