Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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