I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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