I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Alive.
So much puke
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize