Will you blow on my dice?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
