I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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