just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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