thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
