Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
