cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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