I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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