So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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