SEEEEXXX PLEASE
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
