She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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