How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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