I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
