Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
pray to the hookup gods
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
