"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
