You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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