okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize