I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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