dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
