This girl is more easily done than said...
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
