we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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