Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
