I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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