All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
