He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
