So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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