My brain says no but my pants say off.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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