Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
FUCK WHALES
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
