I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
