i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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