Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
