the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize