I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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