When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
