Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
