Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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