thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
