Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
