Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
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