i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Randomize
