Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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